Movies and VAWA

Well, it looks like I forgot to blog yesterday.

I was going to log on and talk about what I did today, then I realized I need to think about yesterday first.

Hmm, let's see...

Wednesday, 2/27/13, what did I do to live out my call to justice?
I tweeted about a few different things going on: firearm safety, death penalty repeal, and the HOME act in MD and the Violence Against Women act nationally...
But I think the most productive thing I did yesterday was meet with a colleague at another local United Methodist Church.  This pastor is more progressive than the congregation he is serving... so he has been silently supporting a few state efforts which many in his congregation dislike a great deal (including firearm safety).  I was able to update this pastor on what the Baltimore Washington Conference Board of Church and Society has been doing and ask for his support as much as possible (especially if he can get some supportive laity to join in on the less controversial issues such as asset forfeiture or human trafficking).  I also updated him on local initiatives that the Southern Maryland Action Coalition is involved in and invited him and his congregation to join us.

Now... today...
Today was my day off, so technically I should have done nothing.

Which is really hard to do!

My husband and I are fortunate enough to be able to take our Sabbath time / day off on the same day most weeks (usually Thursday).  Sometimes we use the day to go on a date and spend some relaxing time together... other times we're more stressed and use it to run errands together.  Today we were blessed with some time to relax, so we went to see a matinee together.  

We saw Safe Haven.  It was your typical Nicholas Sparks romantic story... though with a twist.  This one included some domestic violence that haunted the main character.  I don't want to give the movie away in case you haven't seen it... but let's just say there were some intense moments.  Domestic violence is one topic which really hits me to the core.  It literally feels like a punch in the gut, or worse, just to hear the term mentioned, let alone to hear some of the stories of the victims.  So it was with great joy that I received a text in the middle of the movie from my former colleague, Rev. Amee Parapella, at the General Board of Church and Society with the news that the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) had just passed the house.  This was GREAT news, and actually a bit surprising.  It was no problem getting it passed in the Senate, but there was a lot of trouble in the house where more conservative representatives wanted to strip it of all the "extra" protections for immigrants, native American women (in domestic relationship with non-native men), and the LGBT community.  So, to receive this news while I was watching a movie about a victim of domestic violence, well, it was almost surreal.  Hallelujah!  Sometimes advocacy really does make a  difference.  Well done folks.

Equal opportunity for a HOME

Today I traveled to Annapolis to advocate for the Housing Opportunities Made Equal Act SB 487.  I was part of an extensive panel of "experts" from various professions - folks who interact with those seeking equal access to rental properties who may be discriminated against based on their source of income.  I was part of the religious portion of the panel, but there were also representatives from various housing authorities and citizens advocacy groups as well as some individuals who had themselves faced discrimination when looking for an apartment.

The HOME act will eliminate source of income as a reason for a property owner (landlord) to turn away a potential renter.  There are several states that have this type of law in place already, as well as a few counties and municipalities within Maryland.  All reports is that it not only helps end discrimination, it can even have a positive impact on the community by reducing "poverty pockets", or areas of concentrated poverty ("Section 8 Lane", etc.)

Part of my written testimony, on behalf of the Baltimore Washington Conference's Board of Church and Society is below:

United Methodists in the Baltimore-Washington Conference have placed an emphasis on helping our unhoused neighbors gain access to permanent supportive housing.  This includes not only efforts to build such housing, but also efforts to advocate for more access to affordable housing both locally and at the state level.
According to United Methodist Social Principles, “We support the basic rights of all persons to equal access to housing.” (The Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church 2012, Paragraph 162, Section III).  Furthermore, “We support social policies that integrate the aging into the life of the total community, including… adequate medical care and housing” (The Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church 2012, Paragraph 162, section III, E) and “We call the Church and society to be sensitive to, and advocate for, programs of rehabilitation, services, employment, education, appropriate housing, and transportation… to protect the civil rights of persons with all types and kinds of disabilities” (The Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church 2012, Paragraph 162, section III, I).

...

While Frederick, Howard and Montgomery counties, as well as the cities of Frederick and Annapolis already have laws prohibiting source of income discrimination, there are still many areas in Maryland where people can still be legally discriminated against because of their source of income. As a member of the clergy based in Calvert County and a member of the board of directors for the Community Ministries of Calvert County, an organization whose main goal is to prevent homelessness, I can attest to the number of people who have difficulty accessing affordable housing because of their source of income.
 As a Christian, I am called to love my neighbor and to care for “the least of these” (Matthew 19:19, 25:40).  If my neighbors are not able to obtain affordable housing because they are being discriminated against due to their source of income, then my whole community suffers.  If we discriminate against seniors, those with disabilities, single parents, veterans, and lower wage workers, then we ignore the plight of our neighbor.  To do so is morally unjustifiable.

 Please enact this legislation and help my neighbors and yours access affordable housing.  

My oral testimony was a much shorter version of the above (I was about the 10th person to testify, and the 3rd member of the clergy... so I was trying to avoid sounding repetitive).  I did also mention that one of the reason's I've heard landlords say they do not take vouchers is because they do not want "those people" renting their property.  I then pointed out that several of "those people" are members of my congregation, and that they were not only wonderful people... their rental income (social security, section 8, or veterans benefits) was more reliable than someone with a job who could lose their income at any time.  I was glad none of the Senators had any questions for me, because in the back of my mind I was thinking about the sequestration hullabaloo on the national level and how that might impact a large percentage of all people in my congregation (those employed and those on a fixed income). 

Praying for a solution that will help the poor, hold the rich to a standard where they care for their neighbor, and for all to have the humility to work together toward a more just and equitable society.

Getting the congregation involved

Yesterday and today I spent some time getting my local congregation involved in some advocacy efforts at the state level.

Yesterday my big push was to invite the people who live in the northern end of Calvert County to contact their local delegate (Del. Vallario) about the legislation regarding asset forfeiture for those convicted of crimes of human trafficking (HB713).  This bill passed the state senate with unanimous support, yet Del. Vallario will not let it out of the house judiciary committee (which he chairs).  Those members of my congregation that live in his district (and even several who do not) were not impressed with his behavior and vowed to contact him and tell him just that!

Today's outreach effort did not go over quite as smoothly.  Today's topic of focus is more controversial: gun control.  I have been planning to attend the #Rally4GunSafetyMD on March 1 along with other United Methodists and ecumenical friends from around Maryland.  I mentioned this rally to a few folks at church yesterday and got some interested comments.  So today I visited the website to try to invite a few others (who were not part of the conversation yesterday).  The plan may have backfired.  One of the members I sent the invite to is a gun owner and not a fan of the proposed Firearm Safety legislation.  He did ask me to respect his opinion and I told him that I would.  I pray that I did not offend him.

As I mentioned before, this is such a difficult issue, and I am trying to walk a very fine line between gun ownership and reasonable regulation in order to help prevent gun violence.  Yes criminals will still abuse the system and work to find other means of obtaining weapons.  But I also know that decreasing their access to weapons will deter some criminals, and to me that's worth the inconvenience of fingerprinting or a background check.  Of course, my state senator disagrees.  He stated quite vocally on Friday that he is against fingerprinting by any government agency... a statement which makes him sound like a libertarian, not the progressive democrat he prides himself on being.

Tomorrow I head to Annapolis to participate in a panel of witnesses before the Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee as they take testimony on the HOME Act (SB 487).  I thought that would be a breeze, but since the Senate may be discussing Firearm Safety Legislation tomorrow as well as debating SB 276, the bill to repeal the death penalty.  my trip may be more exciting than I first anticipated.  Wish me luck.  Prayers appreciated.

Insurance Fraud, INSURER Fraud

Today I spent the majority of my morning, and part of my afternoon, filing official appeals for insurance decisions and even filing a complaint with the Maryland Attorney General over a dispute I continue to have with my insurance company.

One would think that having two medical insurances would be a blessing - everything should be paid for, right?  Wrong.  When you have two insurances, each will claim that the other should be paying your bill, neither will pay, and the provider will instead bill you!  From Oct. 2011 - Dec. 31, 2012 United Health Care was my primary insurance and Medicare was secondary.  My UHC policy was through the company I was working for.  By Federal law, because I was working medicare had to be secondary, yet for some reason UHC kept getting confused and denying claims because they thought Medicare was primary.  I disputed many issues last year and got most resolved, but not all.  Today I spent time disputing over $2,000 in services that I needed last year and my insurance company (UHC) refuses to pay for because Medicare was not billed first.

This got my husband and I wondering, how many other people get completely screwed by "the system"?  The biggest concern is that one of my insurances is Medicare (due to my disability).  Which means that other people, other disabled individuals and of course senior citizens, if they also have another form of insurance, are probably also getting bills they should not be getting.  How many of them know their rights?  How many of them know how to fight the insurance companies?  Are there people out there to help them?  (And if there are, can they help me?!)  This process is very confusing and frustrating.  I'm sure there are plenty of people who just give up and pay the bill.  Or worse, they don't because they don't have the money... and then the provider calls a collection agency... and then the person's credit score tanks... and then...

And now my insurance has changed again since I am no longer in a salaried position and receive no benefits. But I still have two insurances (Medicare primary and United Healthcare secondary - my husband's policy).  Something tells me this year will be equally frustrating.  Prayers appreciated.

Grow a board

I am a member of the Baltimore Washington Conference Board of Church and Society.  Today, we had a retreat.  It was my job to run the retreat, based on my knowledge and experience from when I worked at the General Board of Church and Society.

Our focus was on evaluating our strengths, acknowledging our weaknesses, and expanding our team.
It was the team expansion part I am referring to when I speak of "growing a board".  The actual number of board members is determined by the annual conference.  But what we discussed today was that just because someone isn't on our board doesn't mean that person can't be part of our "team".  They can support the ministry of our board in many ways, from submitting written or oral testimony before the state legislature to helping spread the word to their congregation and others when we participate in a rally (such as the one March 1, 2013 to support firearm safety).  Our team will use some community organizing techniques to help expand the work and reach of our board.

Today, my justice work was helping my teammates feel more equipped to do their justice work.

Ministry Affirmation

Today I received affirmation of my calling and my ministry. After I mailed the letter to the Bishop, I also cc'd some other important decision makers, including my district superintendent. Then, I decided that sending everything via e-mail would be faster, so I did. Within a few hours I received a phone call from my DS. She told me that the cabinet had discussed my situation on Monday and decided that, pending submission of a accountability plan, my full-time, non-salaried position has been approved! Praise God!

Now, back to work.

letter writing

Oops, I never posted yesterday.  This post counts for Wednesday, 2/20/13

I am continuing on the same work I did on Tuesday, my maintenance work.  Only, not.

Today I maintained my status as a provisional deacon on my way to full ordination.  I met with my district committee on ministry and had a great conversation.  They affirmed that I am doing many things to help connect the church and the world - the mission which deacons are uniquely called to - the ministry of "service, word, compassion and justice" (according to the 2012 Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church).

When I got home from my meeting I got back to work at advocating for my call.  I sat down and finally wrote a long letter to my bishop explaining my sense of call to be in (missional, AKA "unsalaried") ministry with my community as a representative of my church.  Tomorrow I will read through the letter again, to make sure it doesn't sound snarky, that it stresses the power of my call and not the depth of my frustration for that call not being validated by my annual conference's leadership.  Then I will mail the letter - one copy to my bishop, one copy to my district superintendent, and one copy to my board of ordained ministry.  We'll see where this leads.  Prayers are appreciated.

Keep on keeping on

Today I have spent the majority of the day on what I will call "maintenance".

It sometimes takes a lot of effort to simply maintain my health.  I visited with my neurologist this morning and we spent some time talking about what else we could try to see if we can get my migraines under control.  They have been "out of control" (read - happening more than 3 times a week) for about a year now.  We've tried a variety of treatments and while we have reduced the frequency, longevity and severity a little, we have not yet had the major break in the cycle we have been hoping/praying for.  Today I started yet another new medication to try to prevent the onset of the migraine, and got a new prescription for another "abortificant" for when I do get a migraine.  We'll see if this makes any difference, or if it even makes them worse (which has happened in the past).

In addition to trying out new medication and keeping my eye out for any side effects, I have also been working on "maintaining" my search for a job.

Now, this is where it gets tricky.  I am clergy, that is my job.  I am called by God to care for the least, the lost, the lonely, etc.  I am called by God to serve as a minister of social justice.  I have a part-time position at a local United Methodist church (one I was "appointed" to in July 2011 after being commissioned).  But - it is only part-time and there is no salary (though they do offer me a little financial gift, or "love-offering" about once a month).  In addition to my part-time duties, I have been keeping very busy with some other volunteer duties as clergy in the community - working with a community organizing group and a community ministries group, not to mention duties as a member of the Baltimore-Washington Board of Church and Society.  In fact, I have so much that I could be doing with those ministries, that it could easily be considered a "full time" job.  But - it's not.

I'm not allowed to work full-time without pay according to my district superintendent.  So, every now and then, instead of doing the good work of ministry with folks in my community, I need to spend time updating my resume and applying for (paying) jobs, even though I don't feel called to one.

According to paragraph 331 (Appointment of Deacons and Provisional Deacons to Various Ministries) of the 2012 Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church " 3. "Deacons and Provisional Deacons shall be appointed to settings that allow fulfillment of their call..." and 6d. "Deacons and Provisional Deacons at their own request or with their consent may be appointed to a nonsalaried position.  Such missional appointments will serve to express the church's concern for social holiness, for ministry among the poor, and for advancing emerging needs of the future.  In such cases, the bishop will carefully review plans for expressing this appointed ministry and will consult with the deacon or provisional deacon about the well-being and financial security of his or her family."

 God has called me to be a deacon.  God has called me to be in mission in my community.  And, God has called me to the United Methodist Church. So I'll stay where I am and keep on keeping on until one day I finally convince the (very earthly) "powers that be" that my ministry is valid or I find a "real job" that won't kill me in the commute, or I die trying... but all that really matters is that I do what God has called me to do.  The rest is just semantics.

post edited 2/20/13

Firearm Safety

Last night at my youth group meeting, one of the kids (who is highly involved in JROTC) brought up the topic of gun control during our dinner conversation.  He had done a lot of thinking about not only reasonable limitations on guns, including thinking about what the constitutional purpose of the second amendment was for.  We also had a good conversation about violence in video games, movies, and the media in general.  I was really proud to hear him express his opinions in a well thought out manner, weighing the pros and cons, and explaining his interpretation of other people's arguments for and against gun control.

Today I signed up to attend a rally in Annapolis next week for preventing gun violence.  It wasn't just because of the discussion last night.  It's something that I have been debating getting involved in for some time now.  It seems as though, after Newtown, everyone has an opinion on gun control, preventing gun violence, and which "rights" outweigh which.  And I have tried my best to stay out of the very heated debate.  You see, I grew up in a card-carrying NRA family (I passed the Vermont Hunter Safety Course when I was 9 years old, and I out-shot all the boys in my group during the field test... and they were all older than me).  My son owned his first rifle before he was born (a cricket that my dad bought for him when I was about 5 months pregnant). But I also now serve as clergy in a denomination that holds the media accountable for the violence it portrays (Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church, 2012 para.162.S), and one where many people feel we also need to take a stand against many contributing factors that lead to gun violence.

After much self-debate and some time in prayer, I took the time to visit the Maryland Legislature's list of legislation for the 2013 session focused on firearm safety.  It was a long list.  I have to be honest, I did not read each bill in its entirety.  I did read the full bill actually called Firearm Safety (HB0294/SB0281) and skimmed many of the others.  The Firearm Safety bill is comprehensive and includes many measures I think are common sense and do not pose unreasonable burdens on people.  Some of the other bills are not nearly as "common sense", so I don't think I could support them.

I pray that my family understands why I have chosen to speak out for justice on this issue.  I'm not against guns.  I'm not against gun owners.  In fact, I still plan on enrolling my son in a hunters safety course this year.  But I do think we need to more strongly monitor who owns guns by licensing guns and gun owners - if I need a drivers license, and my car must be registered before I can operate it, why not similar safety measures for guns?  I do think it makes sense to not allow people with certain severe emotional or behavioral disabilities to not own/operate guns without support/training/safety measures in place.  And I do think regulating guns/gun owners is not the only measure we need to take to stop gun violence, so I pray others will hold me accountable to speak up for other measures beyond firearm safety.

Emotions and Advocacy

About six months ago a friend encouraged me to sign up for a class offered at our local library.  The class is lead by a local advocacy group called the Parents Place of Maryland.  The class meets once a month and goes through a book called From Emotions to Advocacy by Pam and Pete Wright.  It is a class aimed at helping parents/guardians of special education students learn to be their child's best advocate (without allowing emotions to cloud their judgment or influence).

The class is free.  I got the book for free (my husband's church's Special Needs Ministry purchased 10 copies to give out to participants).  There is a lot of really good stuff in the book and the class.

But this was only the second time I had gone to class since it started last fall.

I have some very good reasons for not attending each month.  I honestly did have other commitments and activities I needed to be at - including a Teaching and Learning Strategies Fair focused on Special Education last month.  But I have no real good excuse for not reading the book, or doing the other "homework".  I have the course syllabus.  I do have spare time.  I just feel overwhelmed and under-inspired.

Part of the "problem" is that the worst parts of the battle for special education are over (for now) for our family.  My son is twice-exceptional and has made great strides in the past two years (since finally being diagnosed with Asperger's and receiving help from the school and beyond).  He's now in middle school and doing well in honors classes.  So I don't have that "mama bear" need to "fight" anymore.  Things are going relatively smoothly, and most of the struggles we have now are the same struggles most parents of an adolescent have.

I think if I had taken this class three or four years ago things would have been very different.  If I had had this class at the start of our battle to get my son tested and to get some appropriate accommodations in place, I would have stressed a great deal less.  But I didn't.  I learned many of the lessons this book talks about the hard way.

So why am I still going to the class?  Because I know that next year could be very different.  Because I know not all teachers and administrators are as good at following the law.  Not all are as good at taking the time to know what works and what doesn't work for each student.  Not all are good at communicating with the parent when they first detect a problem.  So I need to be prepared.  I need to make sure our son's file is up to date.  I need to know my rights.  I need to know how to work with my son's IEP committee as he continues his growth toward being a capable, independent adult.  I need to be his mom, but I also need to be his best advocate - until he learns how to advocate for himself.

Also - I am involved in a couple of community organizations (including faith-based organizations) that focus on educational equity or special education.  The skills I learn in this class will help me help others - and that's important if I want to live out my calling.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a "master document" to create, a file to double check, and a few chapters to read.

Matthew 15:17

Today is one of those days I hate my body.

No, I'm not one of those people who hates the way they look, mine is much more biologically based than psychologically based.

Today I hate the fact that Lyme Disease has so completely weakened my immune system and played havoc with every other system of my body that I feel miserable inside and out.

Last night my wonderful husband made an amazing dinner of foods which I can eat.  In fact it was a very basic meal of rice pasta complementing mussels, cooked only in a little white wine and oil (no fancy spices or alliums  for me thank you).  Everything is on my safe list - no known food allergies.  So maybe it wasn't that, maybe it was something I picked up yesterday in Annapolis.

All I know is that in addition to the very stiff and aching muscles I woke up with, I have spent the majority of my day nursing a very icky tummy as well.  On the bright side, so far, there is no indication of a migraine on the horizon.

Extra probiotics are on the menu for today along with some gluten-free table crackers and 7-Up.  Maybe later if I get really adventurous I'll drink an Ensure.

How will I live into my call today? 

Today I shall focus on trying to be healthy... as healthy as a person with multiple chronic conditions can be.

Lucky for me, I had already planned to take today as my day off / Sabbath.

Stranger in a strange land

Today I got to practice speaking truth to power.

I joined about 75 United Methodists (mostly United Methodist Women) in Annapolis for the third annual Baltimore - Washington Conference Advocacy Days.

I've done advocacy before, but more at the national level, or via e-mail and phone.  This was actually the first time I entered the MD House and Senate buildings.

The main issues our group was advocating for this year were for stronger policies around domestic violence and human trafficking and for fair hiring practices for those who have a criminal record.

In addition to those three focus topics for the day, we also talked about firearm safety (and gun violence) and the death penalty.

I missed part of the morning session waiting for my delegate so I could tell him about our church's stance on the above issues, but alas he never showed up.  I got a call this evening that he had expected me at a different time.  Apparently there was a mix-up in communication.

I did however have a great meeting in the afternoon with my senator, who also happens to be the president of the Senate (which means - he has power!).  He has joined the governor in pushing to get the repeal of the death penalty to the floor for a vote this session.  I began our meeting by thanking him for that, and here's where it got interesting... the longer we talked, the more I questioned his actual views on the death penalty.  I'm not sure he actually believes in or supports full repeal.  I'm also not sure he's as "progressive" as he says... he's just much more progressive than most of Calvert County.

As we talked a few different things came up, including his family's links to the Confederates in the Civil War, the tobacco trade that used to sustain the entire state financially (and is still a prominent part of our county flag), and gun control today.  It's amazing how much you can learn in a 10-15 minute conversation with someone.

While Senator Miller was showing me the many paintings, photographs and historical items in his office and telling me about his family's history in the county I suddenly found myself thinking about Babylon and Jerusalem... those who were exiled, those who stayed... These were just very brief flashes of thought as I listened to the Senator and pondered my place in this office.  I really didn't have time to process any of them, but I do remember thinking that these were not "my people".  I come from not just a line of "Yankees" (on my father's side), but Canadians (on my mother's side - Quebecois no less).  Yet, at the same time, I think the Senator was more willing to listen to me because I was not a native to the land.  I had different views than many in the land... and because I am now putting down roots and branching out, I may be able to help him influence more people to see things from a different perspective.

Now, as I read those last two sentences it almost sounds as if I'm putting myself in the place of a prophet (because we all know they work best somewhere other than in their own hometown).  But honestly, it was so politically charged, even when we spoke of religion, I think, at least for him, faith had much less to do with it than politics did.

So what does this have to do with my call to justice?
I understand that I am advocating for those who cannot always advocate for themselves.  I understand I am speaking truth to power... I'm just not all that sure that power is interested in listening to what I have to say.

Hmmm, maybe I have more in common with the prophets of old than I thought.

Ashes to Ashes

Growing up in the Catholic church, Ash Wednesday was always a very solemn time.  The first day of Lent is a time when we focus on our sins, our brokenness.  We come before the Lord with humble and contrite hearts.

I always go to worship on Ash Wednesday, and I always try to spend time in prayer and confession before God.

But tonight I had a different experience.

Tonight as I, for the second year in a row, was the one imposing the ashes on the heads of parishoners (and even my head pastor), I had a very different experience.  I could not stop smiling.

My clergy friends will most likely understand this.

It is such a great privilege to be the one to say "from dust you came and to dust you shall return", knowing that there is so much more than that.  While we remember our sins on Ash Wednesday, we also remember that they are indeed forgiven.  And it is that grace, that forgiveness which caused my grin tonight.

You see, with each new person that came forward, I could see their burdens lightened.  I could feel their pain being washed away.  I could see their sins going up in smoke (literally - we, like many churches, write our sins on paper and burn them before receiving ashes and communion).  And with each new sign of the cross made on a forehead, I could feel God's love welling up in our little church and in our community.  And because of the joy on the face of those who came tonight because they wanted desperately to receive ashes and they saw our sign, and our light on... well, all I can do is thank Jesus.

I may feel called to act with Justice, but tonight... tonight I just walked humbly with my God.  Thank you Jesus.

Challenged to live out my call

I left my position at the General Board of Church and Society of the United Methodist Church at the end of 2012.  It was not my choice (budget cuts), but it was one of the best things to happen to me in a while.  Without the commute to DC, I am able to slow down.

Part of "slowing down", for me, means taking time each day for more prayer and reflection.

One of the things I realized is that sometimes I talk more than I act.  Sometimes I have great ideas in my mind, and I talk about them like they're already reality, but I lack the self discipline to actually make them happen, at least not to the extent I envision in my mind. (Just ask my husband - he's been calling me out on this for years.)

So I am instituting some steps to hold myself more accountable - and asking others to keep me accountable - to living out my calling..  Among those steps is a challenge to myself to blog more.  For the next several weeks (hopefully for all of Lent at least), I will try to post something each day about how I am living out my calling for social justice, for being in ministry with my community, for speaking truth to power, for being a servant leader, for following The Way.

What do you say folks, will you check back later today, and tomorrow, and the next day?  See if I'm holding up to my challenge.  And if I'm not, call me out on it.  I need all the help I can get.