Lyme Lament

So, my lyme is back... I just haven't found a doctor yet who will admit it and treat me. Instead I'm wasting my time with an uneducated primary care doc and a useless neurologist.
In the meantime, I am unable to attend classes and honestly worried I will never get my degree. I have an assignment for my pastoral liturgics class to write a lament about a difficult time in my life that I can now look back on. Well, I can look back... the scary part is looking forward.

My lament:

Why me God?
Why did you have to make me suffer?
Haven’t I been good enough?
Am I so horrible that I need to suffer so much?

The pain is too much
My life is over
The enemy haunts my days and nights
Every waking moment I tremble in fear
Don’t let the enemy take over again!

Where are you God?
Why have you left me here alone?
Or worse, are you there watching me?
Are you ignoring my pain?
Dear God why won’t you end this misery for me?
If you won’t take my pain, then please… just take my life
I can’t go through this again!
You saved me once
Once you pulled me from this hell and showed me your light
Where is that light now?
Where is the hope?

I do trust in your mercy
I know you will not let this disease kill me,
But why do you let it take so much away?
Must I only depend on you?

Lord, take this thorn in my flesh away!
I will sing your praises forever if you heal me!
I have tasted health; it is a sweet and wonderful thing
Give me that fruit again O God, I need it in my mouth once more